S1.E9: Here Be Dragon Clichés

Dragon Riding and Accidental Family Lineage Discoveries

You’re reading Adventure Story, a loving parody of the fantasy genre. Don’t know where to start? Click here.

Adventure Story: Start Here

AMOTH PEACEDREAM: Classic good guy and aspiring dragon rider.

QUIRIN PEACEDREAM: Father of classic good guy and aspiring dragon rider.

AUDIENCE: That’s you.

NARRATOR: His accent is just foreign enough to let you know this story takes place in a fantasy world, but still native enough to be relatable.

DRAGON: Basically just a giant lizard.

EXT. VANISHER’S PASS, JUST EAST OF MOUNT MALDIAC

QUIRIN PEACEDREAM

Son, a great war is coming. Soon you will be a man, and you will have to decide what side you’re on. Try not to let your last name sway you.

AMOTH PEACEDREAM

I will fight on the good side, father.

QUIRIN

That was the right answer, son. You see that dragon over there?

AMOTH

The one with the bright orange scales vomiting fire everywhere? Yes, I see him.

QUIRIN

You must go jump on his back.

AMOTH

Absolutely freaking not.

QUIRIN

If you are to be a Dragon Warrior, you must bond your soul to his in the Ancient Tradition. Only then will The Audience be convinced that this story is like Every Other Fantasy Adventure.

AMOTH

I don’t know what that last part means, but I will do as you say because I have a sneaking suspicion that I might be a hero.

AMOTH sneakily makes his way across the jagged, snow-covered landscape, flanking the dragon until he is within striking distance. Then, in an absurd gesture of overconfidence that would never happen in real life, he leaps into the air and lands on the dragon right in between his leathery wings.

THE AUDIENCE

Oh good, this is like Every Other Fantasy Adventure. For a second there we were worried we would be exposed to something outside our comfort zone.

AMOTH

This is a completely insane thing to do and there is nothing to hold on to, but somehow I’m still going to ride this thing into the sky.