S1.E2: Action Forcing Event

Bigheart's life as a lowly farm boy takes a predictable turn for the heroic

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Adventure Story: Start Here

Bigheart: Young and handsome, he is about to discover that his compulsion for Doing The Right Thing is in direct contradiction to his core belief: I Am Not A Hero. Spoiler alert: he’s the hero.

Bigheart’s Dad: This one doesn’t really need explaining

Gravedeath: He used to be a nice guy until power predictably corrupted him and turned him into a murderous psychopath. He will stop at nothing to obtain the Very Powerful Object which will make him — you guessed it — unstoppable.

Imperial Soldiers: These guys are pretty bad.

Michael and Nichael: Identical twins with witty tongues and an uncanny talent for providing comedic relief right when the audience might be in in danger of losing interest.

Lilly: She’s here for her sarcastic remarks and clever quips — and to make Bigheart sexually frustrated

EXT. THE MOST NON-HEROIC PIECE OF FARMLAND YOU COULD IMAGINE.

BIGHEART is hard at work cleaning out the pig troughs. His face and clothes are mud-stained.

BIGHEART

I am a lowly farm boy with a strong work ethic and no ambitions other than to help my ailing, widowed father take care of his land and earn enough to survive the winter.

AUDIENCE

We like this kid, and we wish him well with his humble, non-assuming life.

BIGHEART’S DAD

BIGHEART is a good kid. I should pass on some wisdom to him just in case there is an Action Forcing Event that rips him from his ordinary life and throws him into a whirlwind of adventure.

IMPERIAL SOLDIERS

Halt! We are the Imperial Soldiers, and we have arrived to Force the Action.

BIGHEART’S DAD has just enough time to tell his son “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice,” before the IMPERIAL SOLDIERS strike him down for No Reason In Particular.

BIGHEART

You killed my dad!

AUDIENCE

You killed his dad!

IMPERIAL SOLDIERS

What we lack in brains and personal hygiene, we make up for with mindless violence. Also, our accents sound vaguely Australian even though that doesn’t make any sense in the context of this world.

AUDIENCE

Australia doesn’t make any sense in the context of our world either.

BIGHEART is tied up and thrown in the back of a horse-drawn wagon which begins to move along one of the bumpiest roads in existence.

IMPERIAL SOLDIERS

You’re being kidnapped and delivered to LORD GRAVEDEATH for reasons we will whisper and mumble about just loud enough for the AUDIENCE to almost understand what’s going on. Hopefully a Surprise Ambush won’t occur on the road.

BIGHEART

The less I speak the more stoic I appear. For now, I’ll just look defiant and grunt when they poke me.

SURPRISE AMBUSH

We’re here to stop this from being a very short story.

The SURPRISE AMBUSH neutralizes the IMPERIAL SOLDIERS using a combination of Clever Trickery and Deft Bowmanship. THE AUDIENCE is Predictably Surprised even though they probably should have known this was coming. BIGHEART plays a Key Role in the action by wriggling out of his bonds just in time for the fighting to be over.

IMPERIAL SOLDIERS

We looked so imposing earlier, but now we are slow and, well, dead.

SURPRISE AMBUSH

We are the Merry Men, Robin Hood’s band of –

NARRATOR

Hey now. That one’s taken.

SURPRISE AMBUSH

We are a Nameless Band of Outlaws who happen to be very good at archery.

NARRATOR

Better.

BIGHEART

You saved my life, not to mention the life of the story by keeping the Audience engaged.

LILLY

I’m Lilly and I’m here to act aloof, jaded, and make sarcastic quips. Oh, and to make Bigheart sexually frustrated.

BIGHEART

It’s working already.

MICHAEL AND NICHAEL

And we’re the twins. We’re here to look identical and fight with each other for comedic relief.

BIGHEART

That’s strange, all your group is missing is a hero to give you purpose and a common goal. I wish I could be that for you, but unfortunately I’m no hero.

LILLY

You’d be surprised what a prophecy can do to a simple farm boy. You’re famous now.

BIGHEART

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. I learned that from my dad.

LILLY

Well you’re a lot of fun.

BIGHEART

Thanks, Lilly. I think you’re attractive too. I mean fun. I think you’re fun too.

LILLY

That was sarcasm, you moron.

BIGHEART

No, I was being serious.

LILLY

Never mind.

MICHAEL AND NICHAEL

Welcome to the team, Bigheart. Don’t worry, we’ll make a hero out of you yet.

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